clarke, you are so far beneath my contempt I would rather eat dogshit than shake hands with you

Wow. That would be a thing to see.

Are your convictions strong enough to go through with your threat, or is it some simple through away comment as you know you will not have the opportunity to shake his hand.

Can I suggest you fill your pockets full of canine excrement and hang around outside the houses of parliament. If you see Ken Clarke, you could hold out you hand as if to shake it. When he holds his hand out, pull yours back and then plunge it into your pocket and eat that doggy poo.

That’ll show him!!